I have decided to post my real status - to explain why I have not been too active on the board and groups.
Deciding to tell my real status: It isn't the in-laws which are the issue - FIL and MIL are passed and I never had a chance to meet either one - one of the things which happen when one re-marries at an age.
It is my blood daughters - when I lost my house and I basically gave the eldest daughter who came to help me all the family heirlooms she then decided just because I had some health issues I was essentially non compus mentus. She decided I was to move from my house in rural Texas and live near them in an apartment in Buena Park, CA (Metro Los Angeles) -- on the edge of the ghetto and they would make all of my life decisions. I was making the horrible decision to smoke and thus because I had a half gallon of vodka to make herbal tinctures, I was a drunk. At the point she and her eldest daughter began wrongly but loudly stating all the things we would as health care professionals state to get a person committed to a mental hospital, I ordered them out of my home. She then contacted her sister and both of my step children telling them how incompetent I was and tried to totally alienate them from me. She was so magnanimous that she would allow me to keep 2 of the 4 dogs which I owned IF they could find an apartment which would allow them. I owned 4 old dogs, and was a temporary foster for others for a rescue organization
It has been almost a year and a half since I have spoken to all but my step-daughter here in Texas and her son. (Step daugher and her son are a blessing without price) Some of my grand children have quietly been in touch with me by friending me on FB. Neither daughter has said a word to me - I guess that all they wanted were the silver flatware and the Spode dishes which were my mother's and the family photos - which are gone forever from me. She, DD, was supposed to scan and send copes. Never Happened. I have no photos of my parents or family and I know the kids don't know any of them.
Not only have they stolen mementos of my family here on earth, but any reminders and heritage of my past. We share the same religion, and they continue to be very active in the church (Continually letting the world know how righteous the are) - my only solace is the grand children are being raised with that value system - I hope - but . . . I don’t think she realizes this is how she is teaching her children to treat her elders.
Luckily, I have been adopted by another family -- no blood relation - but closer than my own flesh and blood at this point. I am their 'grandmother'. With that, I have the closeness and love and support I don’t get from most of my blood family.
How much problem would it take to pick up a phone and call me - or email me. All contact from daughter is to one of the adopted grand daughters usually to the extent of 'has she (me) come to her senses yet?’ But she is sure to point out that she is a good Christian Mormon. If that is what a good human is - I am not so convinced I want to play in that sandbox. Not what I see living life as Jesus would.
I love my girls and step-sons and grandchildren - wonder if they feel the same? Thank God for FB - that is the only way I know what is happening with my grandchildren. Though apparently one of the grand daughters has un-friended me.
The daughter and SIL are 'preppers' and I can only hope that they read this and understand that I love them - just not those things they have done to me. (I am re-posting this on my FB page) Sorry for all the non-family/dog friends who get this also – not your problem to solve – but you are a VERY important support group for me.)
My "unforgivable sin" was not giving up my life as I knew it and letting them totally run my life as they saw fit. They did the same thing to his parents...now his Mother has passed and God only knows what human dignity he still has been allowed. The other set of grandparents lived in the town where Maureen O worked and I at least could make sure that all was well with them from her until her change in job.
If hurting me is her goal - oh how she has succeeded. And the only reason I have not sunk into very chronic depression is my adopted family. But life goes on. I am 66 years old, as far as I AND MY Doctor know, in good mental health, fair physical health and hopefully have time to teach my new family all I have learned throughout my life to make their life better. And my other friends are treasures.
Thank you for reading this, I am tired of carrying the heartache and burden by myself. What are friends for and if I can't share - well I guess I will find out who are friends and who are aquaitences. Please do not feel you have to repond just sharing has helped lift a big weight from me.
Just hug your kids and parents- and think before you do somethng which may hurt them to this extent. Remember, it is never too late to mend fences and relatioships as long as they are alive.